Friday, December 15, 2006

truths





"Stuck Makoro Boat" Okavango Delta, Northern Botswana, Spring 2004...

Sometimes I find myself sitting and wondering what Sammy's thinking about all that has happened wherever he may be?

I sort of feel that sometimes he's right next to me, you know invisible, just thinking to himself, jeez, this shit is truly really fucked up. Sammy always used to say that he'd much rather never ever know what was going to happen tomorrow. Never have to go to the hospital. He wanted to have that choice so bad, to be healthy and do whatever it may be, whenever. And living healthy through and through, well then, when that last day came, there it was. Simple and a surprise. Like getting pancaked by a semi.

I mean, life doesn't really have any definition to it, besides that us, as humans, when we breathe we live and when we don't, we die. It's just right about as simple as that. Solely.

We're animals like the rest of our heart pumping friends, from amoebas to lions, we all live and we all die. And when it comes down to it, the important stuff is the same for all of us. Eat, shit, procreate and do it again, heaps of times before we die.

Two thousand and six. Twenty oh six. Two zero zero six. The year, 2006, will be over soon and after that split second there should be another. Twenty oh seven, I guess.

Hmm, I couldn't even try to take a guess at what this turn of the page will have in store.

"Sammy, what do you think?"

About a month ago, I got the courage to go and try to turn on Sam's iPod. Courage because, well, shit like this just ain't the simplest thing these days. After searching through files and files of country music, I found a long list of quotes that Sam had stored in the "notes" section of his iPod. Maybe to have some extra inspiration throughout the day, in addition to his stored rythyms of the world.

Here are some selects:

"Live as if to die tomorrow. Learn as if to live forever." -Mahatma Ghandi

""How can I lose faith in the justice of life, when the dreams of those who sleep upon feathers are not more beautiful than the dreams of those who sleep upon the earth." -Anonymous

"He who gives up liberty for safety deserves neither liberty nor safety" -Benjamin Franklin

"Only after the last tree has been cut down...
Only after the last fish has been caught...
Only after the last river has been poisoned...
Only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten" -Sitting Bull

Love and health to all in this upcoming, oh seven...

4 Comments:

Blogger Sahir said...

benny,
you, sammy, even your pops have taught me so much recently. its my privilege to know yall.
love, sk

3:30 AM  
Anonymous Vanessa Greenfield said...

the words and photographs that you've shared on this blog convey so much beauty and power. I just wanted to connect with you to tell you that I appreciate all you have shared. Reading this blog, I watch the rise and fall of my emotions and just know that sam's advice to live each day as if its your last (definitely one of those pearls of wisdom from a wise, old soul), living and breathing life with a sense of unbounded freedom, is something i will continuously strive toward. underneath all of the sadness and joy of living life, the river flows on. i guess life is all about learning when to let go and when to hold on, and knowing the difference between the two. thanks again for sharing. may your path be filled with health and happiness.

With Sincerity,

Vanessa Greenfield

"This Sky Where We Live
Is no place to lose your wings
so love,love, Love." - Hafiz

1:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love you. thank you for sharing your brother with me. -alli

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Julian Mignott said...

Ben,
I haven't seen you, david or your dad recently, but I hope you are all doing well and looking out for one another like you guys do. Hopefully ill get to see you all some time in the near future.
I think about sam nearly every day. The pictures you post bring back so many memories, that it is difficult to slow my mind enough to focus on just one at a time. im not a religious man, but recently ive formulated a short verse that i sometimes recite. not really to any god, more just to let the universe know who and what is important to me so that we have no misunderstandings. More honestly, i suppose its for the times in life when i dont really know what more i can do to fix things. Anyway, its almost always the same. Starts with a few personal wishes for my family and friends, followed by a couple of my idealistic dreams of how the world ought to be. After that i make any apologies I feel obligated to make, and then, since just a few months ago it has ended with a plea: that sammy has found a peaceful home in his mothers arms, so that together they may watch over attentively, and wait for patiently, the family and friends who miss them so.
This may seem like a bit of a strange thing to say any number of times more than once, if even that, but the value of it for me is the image that fills my head when I recite it and will it to be true. The image that returns over and over like a reprint, is one in which the most important aspects of life...love, family, friendship, happiness, freedom and peace...are still, and will always be with my friend sam.
much love
Julian

3:11 AM  

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