Tuesday, February 26, 2008

march forth


one week from today would be my brother Sam's 24th birthday. March Fourth. And I can only think I must march forth. Dual meanings can be found all over the lands, but I think this obvious one is essential. walk onwards, walk forward...

i think in the year and a half since Sammy died, one thing more than anything has stood out for me- life is precious and delicate. it is fragile and the ability to control the course our journey takes is impossible. the moment is what we got, and the next is unpredictable. memories of laughter echo off rocks and walls, get caught in big stormy clouds and cleanse us with the roar of thunder and moments of lightning illuminated...

the only automatic car in italia with euro club beats carrying us on to pick up davey, then 2pac soothing our souls in fog laden italian mornings at a cautious 60 kilometres an hour. blinkers a go. a hug and a smile in milan, your army bag full of clothes on your back, the last time i saw you healthy, smiling and laughing. to african skies...

los incan rythyms blasting through a brown vista, early 90s, heading east with momma in shotgun, her brilliant teeth, golden smile of love and silver curls glowing in late summer light searching for fresh springs on an island surrounded by salt water. poppa manning the wheel. we were three in the middle, together like indians in public transport, but not. three brothers forever riding together, hips touching and sometimes even fighting.

filling up bowls of water dumping them off a balcony eight stories high. surprising those below with a summer shower. felipe on the insta com, boys... random nights at grandmothers, with a bell for comfort or uncomfort for that matter... long island living, veggie picking, lobster baking, atlantic lounging.... the first time together, on a hill around a fire in the land of 10,000 lakes. drinking sweet aged hops together with friends and fams, under a clear dark sky. smiling together, living together, breathing together, loving together...

sammy

you are the man.

love and health to all...

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought at first the title "March Forth" was a careless typo. Good thing I kept reading. Today is the evening of March Fourth, and I just got home from consoling 13 year old kids crying their eyes out after playing their hearts out and losing 39-38 in their playoff basketball game. In the locker room I told them to never expect second chances in life, and to always live for the moment because you never know if a similar moment will ever present itself. Reading your words on this special day, always shared by your brother and my pops deeply touched me. He had a lot of great moments, sometimes that's hard to remember with all the sadness, but its true. All thoughts and prayers to him and the wonderful Lenzner fam.

With all love, Josh.

7:08 AM  
Blogger matt mcgowan said...

Well said Ben... Sam was a fantastic human being. The short time I spent with him left a mark, one that I can never wash away. I don't remember the name of the bar, it was in LA, and Zach, Emily, Lisa and a few others were there with Sam and I. We had a wonderful night, putting back what was most likely a few to many. Sam, his relationship with Zach, his glowing personality, his ability to enjoy all that is good in life, his girlfriend,... left an impression on all of us that night. I miss him - Matt

2:17 AM  
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